Tiger Humour to break ice

If a Vanni LTTE and a Karuna follower are both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

What do You call 1000 LTTE at the bottom of the sea? - A good start.
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How do You get a LTTEer out of a tree? - Cut the rope.
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What's the difference between a LTTE and a catfish? - One's a bottom-crawling scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
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What's the difference between a dead dog on the road and a dead LTTE by the road? - There are skid marks in front of the dog.
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Why won't sharks attack LTTE? - Professional courtesy.
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What do You have when a LTTE is buried up to his neck in sand? - Not enough sand.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a LTTE? - An offer you can't understand.
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Why is it that many LTTEers have no fingers? - From assembling suicide jackets.
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Where can you find a good LTTE? - In the martyrs’ cemetery.
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What's the difference between a LTTE and a gigolo? - A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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What's the difference between a LTTE and a vampire? - A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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If you see a LTTEer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? - It might be your bicycle.
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A man form Vanni goes to a brain store to get some brain for dinner.He sees a sign remarking on the quality of professional brain offered at this particular brain store. So he asks the butcher:"How much for Engineer brain?""3 dollars an ounce.""How much for politician brain?""4 dollars an ounce.""How much for LTTE brain?""100 dollars an ounce.""Why is LTTE brain so much more expensive?""Do you know how many LTTE you need to kill to get one ounce of brain?"
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You're trapped in a room with a Vanni LTTE, a cobra and a pit bull. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? -Shoot the Vanni LTTE. Twice and choke.
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A man and an alligator walked into a bar. "Do you serve LTTE here?", the man asked.-"Sure do," replied the bartender.-"Good," said the man. "Give me a beer, and I'll have an LTTE for my alligator."